We met Johan at a birthday dinner, one he was not invited to, but he was definitely the star of the night. Johan was very open and unashamed of himself. He walked into our lives that night and we knew this man was going to shake things up!
Johan is currently a theology student, but his path with his faith wasn’t a fairy-tale, and some days are still hard. However, Johan knows there is a bigger plan for him, and he is detriment to find it. Johan went to church with his parents as a child, more because he had to. He didn’t feel the love of God from the congregation, and God didn’t make any sense to him. Later in his life, Johan also became a part of the LGBTQ community, something that’s frowned upon in church. The whole “homosexuality is a sin” accord, hurts a lot of God's children. And so, he left the church, in search of himself, something bigger and got mixed up in the wrong crowd.
Johan comes from a good, wealthy, and loving Christian home. He describes himself as very privileged, he is very grateful for everything now but admits that he did take it for granted a very long time. Johan went through a very dark time in his life during 2018-2019. Admitting he struggled with depression and didn’t see any meaning to life. The money his father gave him was used for alcohol, drugs, and nonsensical things. It was during these spending sprees that he got mixed up with the wrong crowd.
While he was finishing up his practical in hospitality one night in Cape Town, Johan almost overdosed. He was luckily found by someone, and they helped him to safety. Johan knew he was on the wrong path like God was trying everything in His might to save him, but Johan still chose to rebel against Him. He used drugs and alcohol as an escape.
During these times, Johan experienced a sort of Supernatural feeling, something dark pinning him down. He was afraid. It felt like all the darkness and wrong choices were shallowing him. He became to pray; he knew his only hope was God.
“It was almost like a switch had been flicked off and this evilness faded away and I started experiencing a deep peace.”
That night was life-changing for Johan. No one can explain that night to him, most people laugh, but for him, it was the push he needed. That night he decided to change his lifestyle, and come clean about everything. He needed to start accepting himself, and his path.
While Johan was busy changing his life, his friends did not. His ex is now in prison for theft and one of the girls is a stripper. Johan feels like he might have dodged a few bullets by leaving his old life behind.
By studying theology, Johan has grown a lot in his faith. But he is of course not blind to the church and their feeling toward the LGBTQ community. Luckily Johan is very open-minded and has a clear view of his goals. He knows not everyone will accept him, and that’s okay. He still wants to sit next to an Oom Japie at a braai and have a beer. He wants people to know that he’s pretty normal, he just has a little more flair than your average Johan-boerseun type.
While studying theology Johan has been in situations where he completely disagrees with other Christians but he has reached a point where he does and says what he can to help and uplift people.
“As I said, I can’t change the world but I can at least try to change a part of it for the better.”
His goal now is to make a positive change in the LGBTQI+ community. He wants to do this with the help of the church, although he knows it’s going to be hard. He feels that he is a part of the flock and wants other members of the community to feel the same. He hopes that he can create a ground of understanding, especially in South Africa where there isn’t a lot of support for gays. Many stigmas and stereotypes need to be eliminated and the only way to do this is through the powerful tool of education.
“I sincerely hope and pray that I can make a difference one day as well as change people’s attitude towards this community. We are all God’s children. We are all equal. Jesus loves us all. Isn’t that the example we should follow? It’s time to shake the foundations of our society’s cultures and traditions to include all of God’s children!”
Luckily Johan doesn’t have to face all of this alone. “I would say that my mother is the main rebel that inspires me in life. After all her hardships and messed-up background, she succeeded in staying faithful, loving, stable, and strong. I am blessed to have a mother like her as she accepts me as I am and understands my personal struggles and knows who to kick in the face to make me feel better.”
Johan still has days where he struggles with his identity. Like many of us. But one thing is for sure Johan is going to change the world he lives in today! Ready or Not world here he comes!
“If you can't love yourself how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?”
- RuPaul
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