Ever heard the quote words cut deeper than a knife? True, isn’t it? Ever wished someone would have punched you instead of insulting you? No? Then you’re one of the lucky ones my friend.
This past week, we have asked our Rebel community, what was the meanest thing someone has ever said to you. And to be honest, the answers made us mad, cry and take a look at ourselves as well.
Not shocking at all, most of the answers were from childhood experiences. Grown adults, still walk around with that in their hearts. Body shaming was the number one pick of the day.
“You’re too fat to be a princess, so you can’t play with us.”
“You’re not good enough to be on the same team as us.”
The Popular excluded those that were different. How else will they stay popular?
So young, and we already tear each other down. Sunday schools might teach us to love each other but children do as they see. Parents gossip about their friends, co-workers, and even the other kids at school in front of their children. So, kids think it’s okay.
From bullying our friends at a young age in school, we soon move on to the slut-shaming of young girls. Slut-shamming is when you judge someone on your own expectations of behavior and appearance regarding issues related to sexuality. Rebels shared stories of being criticized or punished for violating dress code policies by dressing in perceived sexually provocative ways, requesting access to birth control, having premarital, casual, or promiscuous sex, or when being victim-blamed for being raped or otherwise sexually assaulted. When did that happen? When did we start protecting the attacker? Because their life will be ruined. What about the person they attacked life?
Eventually, we grow up, some of us, into the worst version of whatever adulting means. We use others as stepping stones and will push them down just to get to the top. Bosses expect us to work countless hours, while they sit and watch the money roll in, only paying you the minimum wage. And if you ask for a raise,
“You don't deserve it”.
At the end of the day, a job will replace you as soon as you walk out the door.
And just when we thought our Rebel community was at least safe and loved in their relationships, we were given a reality check. Other than childhood trauma, relationship abuse was the most.
“I don’t love you anymore”
Now, isn’t that the scariest thing you have ever heard? To love someone with everything in you, and one day they wake up, look at you, and decide you’re not the one anymore.
“You should be lucky to have me” or “You’re not enough” I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you are perfectly you. And if the person you are in a relationship with doesn’t see that, leave. It’s okay to be single! Trust me!
“You are not my son”
A father said this to his son after he came out gay, later that week, the same father preached at a funeral of a young man. “It’s very hard to lose your son to death, but harder to lose him to life”. This story rocked me to my core. And honestly, I have no nice way to reply to this, accept that, we love who we love. And to be judged for it is the saddest thing churches have taught us.
Speaking of church, for those who don’t know. I studied theology, and yes, I’m Christian, but I don’t really fit into their little boxes and chose peace of mind over fighting for my rights every day. I do however have very brave female friends, that still stand in the leadership roles and fight for their place in the church.
These are direct quotes from them
“You do really good work, just a shame you’re not a man”
“If we give you this job, how will we know you won’t flirt with the men in the church?”
Galatians 3 23-29, teaches is about equality. We are all the same in the eyes of God. Unfortunately, I think we skip over these verses a lot.
Along with all these mean things we say to each other, it’s no surprise we became sad humans with happy pictures. Our mental health is no joke. Your feelings are valid, and having someone tell you to just get over it because you are “Crazy”. Doesn’t help, it makes it worse. Sometimes leaving more damage than you think.
To our Rebels reading this, please think about your words, something that might be a joke to you, yes, even the ginger kid jokes, might leave bigger scares on someone’s heart than you think.
Love each other, protect each other more.
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